Whatever you say it is not right. Whatever you do it is not enough. Your kindness is fake. Your pain is manipulative. When she fell fell apart. Cracked her bones on the pavement once decorated as a child with sidewalk chalk crashed clothes disintegrated and blew away winds that took all of fair-weather friends looked around skin was spattered ink forming words thousand voices Echoes heard even in sleep: lay there ground She dreamed time machines revenge love really something Not just idea something. finally rose rose slowly Avoiding old haunts sidestepping shiny pennies Wary phone calls promises Charmers dandies get-love-quick-schemes stood stood desolate knowingness Waded out into dark wild ocean up to neck Bathed brokenness Said prayer gratitude for each chink armor never knew needed Standing broad-shouldered next not turned go home echoes new "May your heart remain breakable But by same hand twice" And louder: "without past you could have arrived- so wondrously brutally By design or some violent exquisite happenstance ...here." death reputation felt truly alive.