As night fell into darkness my new life started with the end of one best friend’s. The calm was shattered when Chris suddenly let out a violent scream. He ran to his room tears flowing down face. I chased after him thoughts revolved around keeping calm. After seeing outstretched hand lock on rifle sitting in corner room threw myself and pinned him floor it clear that he wanted kill himself. we struggled for control rifle pleaded not give up tried help see strength had. long moment contemplation released grip. Covered sweat tears spent rest talking about future unsure what held store. While had many more talks fears seemed fade away took alone four months later. peered casket imagined how yet again flowed face must have felt. Looking at last time promised properly care those pain courage push past fear do is right. funeral paused thought path take. time training become military officer showed leadership can unite people common cause comforting during darkest moments spoke soul. knew brought me felt drawn honor by serving others. still wondered merge passion service these feelings. It heard veteran speak medical efforts saved interest medicine sparked. Amazed physicians’ selflessness strength compassion guided promise Chris ventured towards becoming physician. Driven newfound purpose sought opportunities engage patients directly eager firsthand impact compassionate could have. One most profound experiences Lee man who moved from Taiwan suffered brain hemorrhage. Since small grasp English hard trust us as poked needles gave medication. Unaware whether our actions dulled or extended pain screamed kicked us. avoid but couldn’t turn back him. cautiously walked forward uttered greeting Chinese. Over next few days talked helplessness being foreign land. Lee explained somedays emotional overshadowed physical pain. Crudely translating Chinese comfort quoting Nietzsche: “He has why bear any how”. Eventually became comfortable worked physicians develop plan forward. This immense value facing internal pressures understanding different aspects person’s affect their health. realized physician’s role an indiscriminate healer rests belief health universal right easily eroded fear prejudice anger. physician hope extend upon lessons always find good others build impactful relationships. treasure times patient outcome they provide greatest test character. In far Lee’s Ric aggravated assault victim. came daughter Robin. Her teary eyes were filled intense longing fear. Like all patients she Ric come ICU be saved lives returned normal. However possibility survival faded saw just perspective also pastoral one. They Ric’s family through difficult choices learning live survive death. heart are conversations where