pranks What a Stink! By Enmanuel Marmolejos INT. MEN'S BATHROOM - NOON 2 college students MALE 22 and FEMALE 21 are in bathroom stall. The bathroom's trashed covered vulgar graffiti dirt grime dried excrements. Gagging belt buckle shuffling can be heard the MALE (panting) That's right ***** who's daddy's lil ****? Who this mouth belong to? Female's moans muffled from her sucking on male's cock. Suddenly loud grunt stall next door. Comically diarrhea blasts inside toilet as VOICE starts moaning. Mmmmmgh I hope you don't mind me stinking up bathroom! gave wallop of my potent butt mustard mmmmgh... Female choking. FEMALE Oh nah buggin! Always some smelly **** ***** bye! walks out stall makeup hair ruined. She vomits. Male with his pants sagged to floor whilst adjusting boxers pinching nose. He tries not trip over pants. Voice laughs while flushing. out revealing himself KIRBY 21 year old student. adjusts (V.O.) by way. I'm Kirby! smartest funniest most well liked person campus! EXT. CAMPUS Kirby around withered garbage filled campus. Bums emos furries queers gangs thots druggies inhabit street. Some people fighting knocked smoking dancing their speakers. KIRBY Last was pretty whack spending stuck room doing nothin' but jerkin' it sleeping. But now ready turn life around starting meeting people! I'd say better than usual making friends think hella funny so they love being me! notices GUY 19 waves him. GUY Stay **** away ******! Someone Kirby. faces him he stops smiling. Everyone except him... LECTURE HALL AFTERNOON Students getting seated. sleeping picking boogers eating them. Mason. We were friends... Until we weren't... dunno what happened and... just wish knew... Crash! entrance door slams open VP 23 attempts shimmy through opening. His belly's doorframe finally barges which leaves cracks wall. stomps lectern heavily panting when arrives. students stare awe hold back laughter. VP Hello everybody. president club couldn't show will running today. STUDENT Stop cap. laugh. (clearing throat) Anyway before -- smoking. He's furious. (yelling) would like kindly remind everyone that smoking any kind including cigarettes weed vaping e cigs is strictly prohibited campus per student code conduct! If see anyone smoke again report all administration! needs take moment catch breath. grabs an inhaler. Take your time! laughs notices. (holding laughter) Yeah *****! do! room's dead silent. coughs. MASON Kirby... Please shut up... On god bruh. Word funny. clears throat inhales. continues meeting tunes everything I'm... Not funny? gets look determination face. A devious smile stretches across Fine I'll him collects various things room. chased discretely steals poop school's furry litter box pays off aggressively scribbles plan white board determined pull off prank good have no choice awesome! wanna me especially Mason! Things go how were to! This plan's flawless... So awesome... VP's struggling get usual. sneaks into rolls crouches box hide under. looking at they're confused. Finally rolls behind Mason busy talking someone. slowly rises Mason's looks fear. Mason (grinning) Hey guess what! (confused uncomfortable) ...W-What? Something's shirt. down shocking transgressive occurs. has evacuate push escape. coast guard called Marshall law enacted. flooded fire. Fire fighters combating flames guard's directing traffic CIA's scene collecting data burning servers. Kirby's disaster caused rolling laughing. angrily stomping past over. (wiping tears) Well? How about that? greatest history Leave alone. C'mon man! really did myself right? said leave alone! talk man know you've bee snaps backwards (seething) ****'s wrong you? Genuinely why this? hint: one ******* likes you! taken aback he's startled revelation. play off. (nervously laughing) W-What do mean? They along or make joke... No don't! You're insufferable disgusting stopped can't stand seeing stupid face campus our meetings anywhere. hate you ok? never again! walking. ground. (CONT'D) M-Mason... happened? used together late night... You remember that Tears roll R-Right? realizes done. skip class hang texted each other for hours reminiscing else us... those secrets told me... just... . It's personal (sobbing) it's only way pay attention Of course freak! even then rather lonely! Anything's alone knew happen. it. It always happens. please own good. quickly. reaches move. Mason... need you... friend have... FADE OUT