Green Couch A small apartment somewhere in the middle of city. There’s warm lighting a green couch that my cat scratches arms of and single bedroom for me to rest broken bones on. I dream having cozy home all myself with addition cat occasional visit from sister friends maybe someone sleeps next at night. Maybe. The tv plays newest Netflix romcom an actress can’t stand storyline so embarrassing can barely watch without recoiling. turn volume up louder than have ever felt comfortable do so. flinch. My shoes live by front door not thrown every direction then gently placed on rack kitchen is organized cabinets full spices snacks nobody angry me. dining room just host dinner parties-nobody crying while forcing down leftovers. make cups tea keep instead as peace offering after argument. Nobody cuts fruit cry closet. come home only sounds hear are cars passing begging another treat. find this newfound terrifying but it's exactly what wanted. There no distractions. aren’t any stupid 21 year olds drag bar hate friends never wanted things don’t want do. they scratch throw She tells she hates outfits. He he wishes was dead. had terrible taste 21 worse men 22. pounding door. go bed know lurking around corner. has couch. get work done wait until everyone’s asleep making sure I’m needed. person who needs windows open despite being painted shut incompetent landlord. sit windowsill world pass if smoked would smoke cigarette one arm out window blissfully blowing into skyline. smoke. bit concerned might be naked neighbor because installed curtains tendency walk nothing towel that's three sizes too wrap body. Maybe why across smiles elevator. our younger cousin few weeks catch up switching between apartments since they’re both train ride away. We’ve left midwestern roots bustling East Coast cities. Our parents disappointed us married now it becomes less demand more guilt trip we older. mandatory dance parties two glasses wine best school visit. They stay weekend promise again soon. We joke should start commune respective cats partners-well their partners. say much fun own when we’re 85 need hold stairs I’ll consider it. coworkers Susan HR asks seeing anyone(the answer always no)and marry rich. Phil marketing quick-I won’t “young perky forever” least his standards. All women share disgusted look hint agreement. So endless cocktail hours phone calls mother scared am wasting time enjoying loneliness once content with. back hellbent fantasy living alone. How you even loves you? tell them flinch doors slamming sick smell bourbon? let love claw way grips such violent love? he’s like still-how does work? If here night where will put sleep? Where stuffed animals side occupied six foot broad shouldered man twitches many door now. bodies. sinks lower weight two legs struggling afloat. Do wash sheets sex? adjust decorated these 800 square feet? What cry-not anything wrong-and there’s asking why? independence coexist romance? reality laying queen feeling emptiness I’ve kept empty years-I understand how go. perfect harmony weeknight dinners lunches packed work. molds perfectly us tiered shoe turns three. decorations fixes screws tightened correctly. When cry understands. take subway cooking home. read books him thing enjoyed about half staring affectionately shelf animals. He’ll understand(and agree with)my rule outside clothes bed. movies together embarrassment either. And warmth ever-changing phases life-nobody closet head table screams house longer fire fourteen seventeen twentyone-even could light match. choose to.