I am described as the eldest daughter of 6 children in an immigrant household. children. I’m Vietnamese American. My parents came US after Vietnam War for a better life. was born Shakopee Minnesota. When young asked where from. said US did not understand why other kept repeating same question over and like couldn’t understand. used to speak multiple languages me. In Vietnamese Cantonese English that all stopped when put into ESL being too quiet. remember telling myself be under radar. Not stand out. What mistake. decided dumb down so wouldn’t feel outshining anyone. Being oldest wanted cling everything had. Even if it made me childish. didn’t want abandoned left by myself. Replaced wasn’t even there. Like had would slip through my fingers sand. see families compared daughters secretly glad don’t have act them. another mini parent. Of course I’ll help But these responsibilities piling on me nothing lost either way. eventually become adult useful. Stop ungrateful. purpose anyways? Why dead weight? That’s what do. Be Compared compare comparing. again again. To more Pressured molded should be. The potential best self. Despite this think turned out ok. Reasonable. With good work ethic. can contribute responsible adult. free creative explore find happy place no? still criticized wanting cathartic relaxation. told lazy need do more. It stirs resentment anger issues. there’s lot rage within someone who’s trying clinging piece themselves they long ago express with. they’re Conclusion despite complaints any only bad. much good. love family If anything others worse. And quite lucky family have. raised way